


The Worse Word

by maddiebug



Series: Vaguely based off of John Mulaney quotes [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Based on John mulaney, F/M, I need sleep, Maybe salt?, Mild Swearing, Mostly Crack, Reveal, adrienette - Freeform, im not sure if the ending is more funny or sad, no beta we die like men, pre reveal post relationship, the first part is funny i promise, the worse word, yes im trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-10 20:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20857442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebug/pseuds/maddiebug
Summary: "It really is. Hell is worse than the f word."Marinette thought of a retort, but bit her tongue, not wanting to say anything more.Surprisingly, a voice spoke out from next to Lila. Adrien Agreste, Lila's boyfriend. "She's right you know." He didn't necessarily agree with Lila, but he never disagreed."Of course I am." Lila smiled."No, Marinette is right." Adrien turned to smile at her."What?" She and Lila shrieked in unison."The f word is much worse than hell.""Why would you turn against me Adrien?" Lila pet his hair. "C'mon, you know I'm right.""Well, if you're comparing the badness if two words and you won't even say one of them, that's the worse word." Adrien pointed out.





	The Worse Word

" Ms. Bustier, are you sure I didn't turn my homework in early?" Marinette asked. "I know I did it, but it's not in my homework binder."

"It's not in my pile of collected work, Marinette. I'm sure it just slipped your mind or something. Even the best students forget their work."

"I don't have it." Marinette flipped through her binder again. Nothing. She looked through every folder and she still couldn't find it. "Shit."

"You know," Lila shrugged. "Saying that word could get you in trouble."

"No it can't." Marinette shook her head. "I don't have time for this." She started flipping between pages in her book to see if she could find the missing assignment.

"Yes it can." Lila smirked.

"You stole my homework!" Marinette accused. "You hid it, what the heck Lila?"

Lila started fake crying. "How could you say that to me Marinette? I'm just trying to be nice."

"What the hell?" Marinette groaned.

How was it that no one else saw through Lila's act.

Tears were dripping down Lila's face. "Hell is the worst word. I'm going to report you for harassment."

Alya gasped from next to Marinette. "Marinette, how could you do this to Lila? She didn't do anything to you."

"First of all, no." Marinette glared. "Second of all, give me my homework back."

"Why would I-"

"What the hell?"

"It really is. Hell is worse than the f word."

Marinette thought of a retort, but bit her tongue, not wanting to say anything more.

Surprisingly, a voice spoke out from next to Lila. Adrien Agreste, Lila's boyfriend. "She's right you know." He didn't necessarily agree with Lila, but he never disagreed.

"Of course I am." Lila smiled.

"No, Marinette is right." Adrien turned to smile at her.

"What?" She and Lila shrieked in unison.

"The f word is much worse than hell."

"Why would you turn against me Adrien?" Lila pet his hair. "C'mon, you know I'm right."

"Give it up Lila." Marinette smirked.

"Well, if you're comparing the badness if two words and you won't even say one of them, that's the worse word." Adrien pointed out.

Marinette snorted. "Obviously."

Lila sighed. "I can't even deal with you right now adrikins. I don't know what's gotten into you."

"Fine." He stood up.

"I'm serious." Lila glared. "If you fight with me, then we're over."

"I'll just sit somewhere else." 

"No, wait-" She tried to grab his shirt, but he had already stepped away.

"It's okay," Alya rushed to sit next to Lila. "I can help you. I know you're hard of hearing and-"

Marinette blocked the rest of the conversation out. She put her head on her desk and closed her eyes, trying to blink away the tears. Lila really had managed to take all of Marinette's friends away... except Chat Noir.

At school though, Marinette was all alone.

A hand tapped her shoulder. "Hey, is this seat taken?"

"I guess not anymore." She sat up, looking straight into the eyes of Adrien Agreste. It definitely took her by surprise. "Go ahead I guess." 

"Thanks." He held out a hand. "I'm Adrien."

"I know your name." She frowned. "We used to be friends."

"I was hoping we could maybe start over." He took an breath, still holding out his hand. "I'm Adrien."

She shook it. "Marinette."

"I know." He smiled. "I've gotta say, I'm impressed by how you stand up to Lila. I wish I was brave enough to point out the truth."

"What do you-" Marinette frowned. "You knew she was lying... and you let her get away with it?"

"Well," he shrugged sheepishly, "I figured, if no one was getting hurt, it didn't matter."

"Well that's stupid."

He laughed. "Yeah."

"You should've done something."

"You're right."

"You know, you don't have to agree with everything I say." Marinette chuckled.

"I know." Adrien agreed. "I wanted to do something. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how. I was scared. Whenever she actually did anything, I couldn't stop her. I could see it happen, but I was just watching. She lied, but I was just over on a bench. A useless bystander."

"Well, what you did this morning was pretty bold."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was impressed. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Neither did I." Adrien shook his head. "I thought I would have to fake date her forever."

"You mean, you didn't want to?"

"Not really." Adrien shrugged. "She's pretty, but I don't really like her, you know?"

Marinette looked into Adrien's eyes. "Yeah, I know."

"Like. She's beautiful on the outside, but the inside is lies. Ugly lies." 

"Why didn't you end things sooner?"

"I didn't want to disappoint my father." Adrien frowned. "I have an image to uphold and that bullshit. But I'm tired of it. I want to be my own person. I want to make my own friends. I want to date someone I actually love."

"Yeah!" Marinette nodded. "You should do what you want. You shouldn't have to listen to everything he says."

"I want-" Adrien held Marinette's hand, "- to date you."

"Wait. What?"

"I love you." He slowly leaned in to kiss her. 

She pushed him away. "I'm sorry, but I barely know you. And I have a boyfriend."

"I know."

"How- no one knows- if you know that, then why are you trying to kiss me?"

"Because, I am your boyfriend."

"No you aren't." She scooted away. "I think I'm going to sit in the very back. By myself."

"Wait!" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Buggaboo."

Marinette froze. "What?"

"Shit."

She whirled around. "What did you just call me, Agreste?"

"Buginette?" He said, you know, like a liar. "Because you look like Ladybug and you're Marinette."

She sat next to him. "Listen up, kitty."

He froze.

"You and me are going to have a very serious discussion later."

He nodded.

"Because, you were seeing me and Lila at the same time."

"About that..."

"And that's not fair to either of us."

"If I could just explain-"

"Ill let you explain yourself later, if you can do me one favor right now."

"Of course, ill do anything for you m'lady."

"Cool it with the nicknames." 

"That's what you need?"

"No." She smirked. "On three, I need you to say 'Hey Lila!' And then kiss me."

"I thought you were against petty revenge."

"Usually." She shrugged. "But there's an exception when it comes to Lila."

"Okay." 

"1." She took a breath.

"2."

"3."

Adrien shouted. "Lila, look at this!" 

Together, Marinette and Adrien smashed their faces together.

Lila turned around and screeched, "What the Fuck?!"

Surprisingly, they only got a verbal warning for PDA, while Lila got a detention for disrupting the class.

...

"Okay kitty, explain."

"I was trying to protect you."

"I'm Ladybug I can protect myself-"

"No, not you, Marinette you. I really liked you and Lila noticed. Lila promised that she would back off from you if I did what she said, but if didn't, she'd make both of our lives hell."

"Oh, that's actually really sweet."

"I didn't want her to hurt you. She already got you expelled once, and she wouldn't hesitate to do it again. So I did what she wanted."

"You took the cowards way out."

"I pretended to date her so no one would find out who she really liked."

"Who?"

"I'm sworn to secrecy."

"Yeah, but it's Lila, none of her promises mean anything."

"She liked you, Marinette."

"Nice one." Ladybug chuckled. "You're serious? But she made my life hell."

"So she could get you to leave. She didn't want to deal with the reality of liking girls."

"There's no way." She shook her head, "You're pranking me."

"Would I lie to you m'lady?"

"Maybe?"

"Lila has a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

"Now, we don't have time to unpack all of that."

"That's the truth. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Thank you Chat."

"So you forgive me?"

"Yes, but only because I feel bad that Alya posted the video of us kissing and now Adrienette is trending."

"Its what!?"

"Shhh. The internet thinks we're cute."

"So do I, but my father's going to be pissed."

"Tell him it's Photoshop. Or an act of teenage rebellion."

"I can't just lie."

"Then let him be pissed. Remember what you said earlier?"

"No?"

"You want to do what you want. Control your own life. Well, step one, you date someone you like."

"You're right." Chat nodded. "I just need to tell him that this is what I want. And I don't care what he thinks because I love you."

"Exactly. You got this."

"I got this."

....

Three hours later, Adrien realized that he did not in fact have it. 

He almost did, but somewhere he messed up.

He wasn't sure when the mistake was.

Perhaps it was disagreeing with father. Adrien always got in trouble for having his own opinions.

Perhaps he messed up when he brought mother up. Adrien knew that was a sensitive topic, and it wasn't fair to blame his father.

His father messed up when he asked Adrien to join him on a quest for the miraculous. And then he transformed into Hawkmoth

Adrien definitely messed up when he followed Hawkmoth into his lair alone. 

However, Adrien's biggest mistake, the one that cost him nearly everything, was transforming into Chat Noir and trying to fight his father.

That's what led to the current situation. 

...

He landed on Marinette's balcony, went through the trapdoor to her bed, transforming back into Adrien and groaned. "I definitely did not have that."

The usually talkative Marinette was silent for once, and Adrien sat up and looked down in horror to see that she wasn't alone. Someone else was in Marinette's room. Someone else had seen everything. 

And that someone was Lila.

Adrien groaned. "Shit."

"You know, shit is as bad as the f word."

"Shut the Fuck up Rossi." 

Marinette punched her and she passed out. "God I hope she doesn't remember that."

"She better forget."

"Or else,"

"We're screwed."

"You're screwed. I didn't do anything kitty."

"You punched her!"

"Yeah, but I didn't reveal my secret identity."

Lila sat up, rubbing her head. "You have a secret identity?"

"No, shut up." Marinette punched her again.

Lila collapsed.

"What did you just do?"

"I don't know I panicked." Marinette groaned. "Help me hide the body."

Adrien took a breath. "How do we convince her that none if that happened?"

"Uhh...."

"That's all I have too."

"Wait what happened to you?"

"I know Hawkmoth's identity. But he knows my identity too."

"Why didn't you say so?" Marinette jumped up. "We have to stop him!"

"But-" he gestured to Lila's body on the floor.

"We have bigger problems than that. We can just say she hit her head."

"You're really smart LB."

"Thanks."

"And you scare me, but its hot."

"Thanks?" She blinked. "We have bigger things to focus on. Who is Hawkmoth?"

"My dad?"

She was silent. Too silent. 

"Bug?"

"Tikki, spots on!"

"What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to kill that man."

He grabbed her arm. "I really don't think that's-"

"Okay. I'm going to destroy him and make sure he never gets out of jail. First he's a horrible father, who neglects and abandons his child."

"Harsh, but true."

"And he's a terrorist? Hes going down."

"I can't fight him."

"Then I will. Just don't get in my way."

"Remember what I said about you being scary before?"

"Yeah?"

He kissed her. "It's really hot."

"Did... did..." Lila stood up again. "Did you just kiss Ladybug?"

This time, Adrien punched her. "No regrets."

Lila hit the floor and Ladybug and Chat Noir set out to fight the final battle.


End file.
